Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. “How’s it going?” someone asked. “Not too bad,” answered Diogenes. “I still have my lantern.”
Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter’s night. He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town’s lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove discussing the town’s business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.
Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante’s Inferno. When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, “Very much what I see here: all of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place.”
“My daddy is a movie actor, and sometimes he plays the good guy, and sometimes he plays the lawyer.”
- Malcolm Ford, to his preschool classmates on what his father, actor Harrison Ford, does for a living.
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
- Benjamin Franklin.
There’s no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth.
“Lawyers Are”: Those who lie, conceal and distort everything and slander everybody.
- Jean Giraudoux
From “Book Of Anecdotes”, a story told of former President and General, U.S. Grant:
Undistinguished and often shabby in appearance, Ulysses S. Grant did not recommend himself to strangers by looks. He once entered an inn at Galena, Illinois, on a stormy winter’s night. A number of lawyers, in town for a court session, were clustered around the fire. One looked up as Grant appeared and said, “Here’s a stranger, gentlemen, and by the looks of him he’s travelled through hell itself to get here.”
“That’s right,” said Grant cheerfully.
“And how did you find things down there?”
“Just like here,” replied Grant, “lawyers all closest to the fire.”